Woman & Marriage in Islam
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
वूमन&Marriage in Islam
Woman & Marriage in Islam
woman in Islam
Are men and women equal?
The first and most important observation to make about the popular question
"Are men and women equal?" is that it is a badly-formed, unanswerable question.
The problem which many people conveniently ignore is that "equal" is not defined. This is a very critical point: the equality must be specified with respect to some measurable property. For example, women are superior on average if we ask whom do children bond to deeper, mothers or fathers. Women are also superior on average if we ask who has a tendency to socialize more.
What then, is the really important property which we are worried about in terms of gender equality? Naturally, from the point of view of the Qur'an
the obvious important property is who is dearer to Allah, men or women? This question is emphatically answered in the Qur'an,
[4:124] If any do deeds of righteousness - be they male or female - and have faith, they will enter Paradise, and not the least injustice will be done to them.
[33:35] For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for truthful men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.
The Qur'an repeat over and over again that Allah only favors one person over another based on that person's awareness, consciousness, fear, love, and hope of Allah (the Arabic word is difficult to translate: Taqwa). All other criteria are excluded: gender, ethnic group, country, ancestry, etc.
Given that Allah does not favor one gender over the other in His attention to us (and it helps to remember that Allah is neither male nor female), we can now address the differences between the genders in Islam. First, men and women are not the same as we know.
Men and women are different in their composition, and in their responsibilities under Islam. However, both are bound by obligations to one another, especially the following important one which must be understood in any discussion on men and women.
Men and women are different in their responsibilities towards the families that they are strongly encouraged to set up. Women are not obligated to work, whereas men are obligated. The man must provide for the family, but the woman does not have to spend out of her money for it, though she gets a reward for doing so. Allah says in the Qur'an,
[4:34] Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
From Sahih Bukhari, we find:
[2:24:545] Narrated `Amr bin Al-Harith: Zainab, the wife of `Abdullah said, "I was in the Mosque and saw the Prophet (p.b.u.h) saying, `O women ! Give alms even from your ornaments.' " Zainab used to provide for `Abdullah and those orphans who were under her protection. So she said to `Abdullah, "Will you ask Allah's Apostle whether it will be sufficient for me to spend part of the Zakat on you and the orphans who are under my protection?" He replied "Will you yourself ask Allah's Apostle ?" (Zainab added): So I went to the Prophet and I saw there an Ansari woman who was standing at the door (of the Prophet ) with a similar problem as mine. Bilal passed by us and we asked him, `Ask the Prophet whether it is permissible for me to spend (the Zakat) on my husband and the orphans under my protection.' And we requested Bilal not to inform the Prophet about us. So Bilal went inside and asked the Prophet regarding our problem. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) asked, "Who are those two?" Bilal replied that she was Zainab. The Prophet said, "Which Zainab?" Bilal said, "The wife of `Adullah (bin Masud)." The Prophet said, "Yes, (it is sufficient for her) and she will receive a double rewards (for that): One for helping relatives, and the other for giving Zakat
Marriage
Does anyone out there feel that marriage is worth it?"
A marriage to the right person is worth it. A marriage to the wrong person is not. How does one decide who the right person is?
This is not to say that one cannot determine who the right person is, only that it requires a certain amount of analytical detachment about the relationship that is difficult for most people. Some of the more important factors for a man to consider, in my opinion, are as follows:
1. Is she a woman of genuine faith?
2. Does she accept the notion of personal responsibility?
3. Are you comfortable with her?
4. Can she entertain herself? Men need their downtime. This becomes problematic if she sees your free time as a violation of her time with you.
5. Do your friends and family think she's good for you? Those around you are not likely to be blinded by the rose-tinted of infatuation and will often have a better read on her true personality than you do. If you find yourself defending her by saying things like "Oh, but you just don't know her," then you are flirting with long-term trouble.
6. Does she attempt to control you? This tendency will only get worse with marriage, so any sign of this in a dating relationship is a red flag.
7. Does she treat you with respect, in public and in private? If she does, this is an excellent sign. If she's always putting you down, just "giving you a hard time" and "keeping you in your place," better find someone else.
8. Are you in agreement on the larger issues?
9. Finally, do you know her? Really, truly know her? Do you know what she hopes her future will hold, even if she can't articulate it?
Marriage and family are definitely good things. But they are important and life-altering, and are not to be entered into lightly. If you are so fortunate as to find the right woman, don't let shallow concerns get in the way, pursue her and see it through. If neither you nor those close to you harbor any serious doubts about her, then marriage is likely the right decision.
Marriage is an act of worship and obedience to Allah, Who commands the husband and wife to respect and love each other, to create a peaceful home, and to help each other in rearing good Muslim children to make a positive difference to the world.
It is also a lawful response to the basic instincts of intimacy within a detailed system of rights and duties. Muslims are instructed on how to channel these desires to live a tranquil, settled life. The Qur’an says what gives the meaning of:
*{And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect.}* (Ar-Rum 30:21)
Many verses of the Qur’an discuss marriage, family relations, and domestic etiquette.
The relationship between men and women in Islam is addressed in the Qur’an. Islam explains to us how to achieve tranquillity in marriage and how to reach the highest potential in all other aspects of life.
Inspired by our belief that better communication within Muslim families, especially between husbands and wives, is the cornerstone for building a strong, actively involved family, we wanted to shed some light on what we believe happens often in many marriage stories.
The Prophet said, “Nothing is better for those in love than marriage.”
(Ibn Majah and authenticated by Al-Albani).
A relationship between a husband and a wife is like a garden; if it’s to thrive.
Plants need to be watered even more frequently under a hot sun; this is how the relationship between a husband and a wife should be enriched when it’s no longer easy to give or to get love. Therefore, always remember Prophet Muhammad’s advice (peace be upon him):
woman in Islam
Are men and women equal?
The first and most important observation to make about the popular question
"Are men and women equal?" is that it is a badly-formed, unanswerable question.
The problem which many people conveniently ignore is that "equal" is not defined. This is a very critical point: the equality must be specified with respect to some measurable property. For example, women are superior on average if we ask whom do children bond to deeper, mothers or fathers. Women are also superior on average if we ask who has a tendency to socialize more.
What then, is the really important property which we are worried about in terms of gender equality? Naturally, from the point of view of the Qur'an
the obvious important property is who is dearer to Allah, men or women? This question is emphatically answered in the Qur'an,
[4:124] If any do deeds of righteousness - be they male or female - and have faith, they will enter Paradise, and not the least injustice will be done to them.
[33:35] For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for truthful men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.
The Qur'an repeat over and over again that Allah only favors one person over another based on that person's awareness, consciousness, fear, love, and hope of Allah (the Arabic word is difficult to translate: Taqwa). All other criteria are excluded: gender, ethnic group, country, ancestry, etc.
Given that Allah does not favor one gender over the other in His attention to us (and it helps to remember that Allah is neither male nor female), we can now address the differences between the genders in Islam. First, men and women are not the same as we know.
Men and women are different in their composition, and in their responsibilities under Islam. However, both are bound by obligations to one another, especially the following important one which must be understood in any discussion on men and women.
Men and women are different in their responsibilities towards the families that they are strongly encouraged to set up. Women are not obligated to work, whereas men are obligated. The man must provide for the family, but the woman does not have to spend out of her money for it, though she gets a reward for doing so. Allah says in the Qur'an,
[4:34] Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
From Sahih Bukhari, we find:
[2:24:545] Narrated `Amr bin Al-Harith: Zainab, the wife of `Abdullah said, "I was in the Mosque and saw the Prophet (p.b.u.h) saying, `O women ! Give alms even from your ornaments.' " Zainab used to provide for `Abdullah and those orphans who were under her protection. So she said to `Abdullah, "Will you ask Allah's Apostle whether it will be sufficient for me to spend part of the Zakat on you and the orphans who are under my protection?" He replied "Will you yourself ask Allah's Apostle ?" (Zainab added): So I went to the Prophet and I saw there an Ansari woman who was standing at the door (of the Prophet ) with a similar problem as mine. Bilal passed by us and we asked him, `Ask the Prophet whether it is permissible for me to spend (the Zakat) on my husband and the orphans under my protection.' And we requested Bilal not to inform the Prophet about us. So Bilal went inside and asked the Prophet regarding our problem. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) asked, "Who are those two?" Bilal replied that she was Zainab. The Prophet said, "Which Zainab?" Bilal said, "The wife of `Adullah (bin Masud)." The Prophet said, "Yes, (it is sufficient for her) and she will receive a double rewards (for that): One for helping relatives, and the other for giving Zakat
click here To Read more
Marriage
Does anyone out there feel that marriage is worth it?"
A marriage to the right person is worth it. A marriage to the wrong person is not. How does one decide who the right person is?
This is not to say that one cannot determine who the right person is, only that it requires a certain amount of analytical detachment about the relationship that is difficult for most people. Some of the more important factors for a man to consider, in my opinion, are as follows:
1. Is she a woman of genuine faith?
2. Does she accept the notion of personal responsibility?
3. Are you comfortable with her?
4. Can she entertain herself? Men need their downtime. This becomes problematic if she sees your free time as a violation of her time with you.
5. Do your friends and family think she's good for you? Those around you are not likely to be blinded by the rose-tinted of infatuation and will often have a better read on her true personality than you do. If you find yourself defending her by saying things like "Oh, but you just don't know her," then you are flirting with long-term trouble.
6. Does she attempt to control you? This tendency will only get worse with marriage, so any sign of this in a dating relationship is a red flag.
7. Does she treat you with respect, in public and in private? If she does, this is an excellent sign. If she's always putting you down, just "giving you a hard time" and "keeping you in your place," better find someone else.
8. Are you in agreement on the larger issues?
9. Finally, do you know her? Really, truly know her? Do you know what she hopes her future will hold, even if she can't articulate it?
Marriage and family are definitely good things. But they are important and life-altering, and are not to be entered into lightly. If you are so fortunate as to find the right woman, don't let shallow concerns get in the way, pursue her and see it through. If neither you nor those close to you harbor any serious doubts about her, then marriage is likely the right decision.
Marriage is an act of worship and obedience to Allah, Who commands the husband and wife to respect and love each other, to create a peaceful home, and to help each other in rearing good Muslim children to make a positive difference to the world.
It is also a lawful response to the basic instincts of intimacy within a detailed system of rights and duties. Muslims are instructed on how to channel these desires to live a tranquil, settled life. The Qur’an says what gives the meaning of:
*{And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect.}* (Ar-Rum 30:21)
Many verses of the Qur’an discuss marriage, family relations, and domestic etiquette.
The relationship between men and women in Islam is addressed in the Qur’an. Islam explains to us how to achieve tranquillity in marriage and how to reach the highest potential in all other aspects of life.
Inspired by our belief that better communication within Muslim families, especially between husbands and wives, is the cornerstone for building a strong, actively involved family, we wanted to shed some light on what we believe happens often in many marriage stories.
The Prophet said, “Nothing is better for those in love than marriage.”
(Ibn Majah and authenticated by Al-Albani).
A relationship between a husband and a wife is like a garden; if it’s to thrive.
Plants need to be watered even more frequently under a hot sun; this is how the relationship between a husband and a wife should be enriched when it’s no longer easy to give or to get love. Therefore, always remember Prophet Muhammad’s advice (peace be upon him):
click here To Read more
